Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the economy, Management has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 50 years of age and above on early retirement.
This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).
Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to management to be considered for the SHAFT scheme (Special Help After Forced Termination).
Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW programme (Scheme Covering Retired-Early Workers).
A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as Management deems appropriate.
Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependants & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).
Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by Management.
Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SHIT(Special High Intensity Training) as possible. Management has always prided itself on the amount of SHIT it gives employees.
Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring this to the attention of your Supervisor, who has been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle.
Sincerely,
Management
PS
Due to recent budget cuts and the rising cost of electricity, gas and oil,as well as current market conditions, the Light at the End of the TPray That You Don't Get this Letter at Work...
Dear Employees,
Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the economy, Management has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 50 years of age and above on early retirement.
This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).
Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to management to be considered for the SHAFT scheme (Special Help After Forced Termination).
Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW programme (Scheme Covering Retired-Early Workers).
A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as Management deems appropriate.
Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependants & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).
Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by Management.
Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SHIT(Special High Intensity Training) as possible. Management has always prided itself on the amount of SHIT it gives employees.
Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring this to the attention of your Supervisor, who has been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle.
Sincerely,
Management
PS
Due to recent budget cuts and the rising cost of electricity, gas and oil,as well as current market conditions, the Light at the End of the Tunnel has been turned off.
We apologize for the inconvenience
_________________________________
WARNING: Contains Language that may offend people who have never worked for Joel Klein, Esq.'s New York City Dept of Education, a 19 Billion dollar conglomerate that has treated NYC teachers, its own employees, so obscenely for so long that mere four letter words are the least of their problems.unnel has been turned off.
We apologize for the inconvenience
_________________________________
WARNING: Contains Language that may offend people who have never worked for Joel Klein, Esq.'s New York City Dept of Education, a 19 Billion dollar conglomerate that has treated NYC teachers, its own employees, so obscenely for so long that mere four letter words are the least of their problems.
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Every so often, a funny bone needs to be ticked. Aside from the brilliant commentary, many people started reading Ed Notes for the humor culled from emails and the internet. Those were the relatively early days of the internet when many people were still not hooked up and the jokes were new to them. After a few years, they may seem new again. Milton Berle redux.
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