Bloomberg Corp. to Appoint Teacher as CEO

Since Michael Bloomberg will be too busy to run his corporation for at least the next 3 years, the Bloomberg Corporation will hold a contest to choose a teacher to run the multi billion dollar enterprise. “If non-educators can run the school system, it makes perfect sense for a teacher to run the Bloomberg business,” a spokesperson declared. The teacher will be chosen based on scores from the latest reading test. The new head of Bloomberg’s company is expected to end social promotion in the giant corporation and raise standards.