If Restaurants Functioned Like Microsoft...

Patron: Waiter!
>>Waiter: Hi, my name is Bill, and I’ll be your Support Waiter.
What seems to be the problem?
>>Patron: There’s a fly in my soup!
>>Waiter: Try again, maybe the fly won’t be there this time.
>>Patron: No, it’s still there.
>>Waiter: Maybe it’s the way you’re using the soup. Try eating it with a fork instead.
>>Patron: Even when I use the fork, the fly is still there.
>>Waiter: Maybe the soup is incompatible with the bowl. What kind of bowl are you using?
>>Patron: A SOUP bowl!
>>Waiter: Hmmm, that should work. Maybe it’s a configuration problem. How was the bowl set up?
>>Patron: You brought it to me on a saucer. What has that to do with the fly in my soup?!
>>Waiter: Can you remember everything you did before you noticed the fly in your soup?
>>Patron: I sat down and ordered the Soup of the Day!
>>Waiter: Have you considered upgrading to the latest Soup of the Day?
>>Patron: You have more than one Soup of the Day each day??
>>Waiter: Yes, the Soup of the Day is changed every hour.
>>Patron: Well, what is the Soup of the Day now?
>>Waiter: The current Soup of the Day is tomato.
>>Patron: Fine. Bring me the tomato soup, and the check. I’m running late now.
[waiter leaves and returns with another bowl of soup and the check]
Waiter: Here you are, Sir. The soup and your check.
>>Patron: This is potato soup.
>>Waiter: Yes, the tomato soup wasn’t ready yet.
>>Patron: Well, I’m so hungry now, I’ll eat anything.
[waiter leaves.]
Patron: Waiter! There’s a gnat in my soup!

The check:
>> Soup of the Day . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $5.00
>> Upgrade to newer Soup of the Day. . . . . . . . $2.50
>> Access to support . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $1.00