SEEN ON TEE-SHIRTS AND BUMPER STICKERS

“Filthy Stinking Rich -- Well, Two Out of Three Ain’t Bad”
“Upon the Advice of My Attorney, My Shirt Bears No Message at This Time”
“That’s It! I’m Calling Grandma!” - (seen on an 8 year old)
“Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew Up”
“Procrastinate Now”
“I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts -- Do You Want Fries With That?”
“If a woman’s place is in the home WHY AM I ALWAYS IN THIS CAR!”
“ALL MEN ARE IDIOTS, AND I MARRIED THEIR KING”
“STUPIDITY IS NOT A HANDICAP. Park elsewhere!”
“They call it “PMS” because “Mad Cow Disease” was already taken”
“POLICE STATION TOILET STOLEN ....Cops have nothing to go on.”
“HECK IS WHERE PEOPLE GO WHO DON’T BELIEVE IN GOSH”
“A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS--But it uses up a thousand times the memory.”
“HARD WORK WILL PAY OFF LATER. LAZINESS PAYS OFF NOW!”
“The trouble with life is there’s no background music.”
“MY WILD OATS HAVE TURNED TO SHREDDED WHEAT”
“Quoting one is plagiarism. Quoting many is research.”
Too Many Men, So Few Who Can Afford Me
I Suffer Occasional Delusions of Adequacy
There are three signs of old age.
The first is your loss of memory, the other two I forget.
Senior Citizen: Give Me My Damn Discount
Remain.com
(On a passing motorcyclist): If You Can Read This, My Wife Fell Off
Princess, Having Had Sufficient Experience With Princes, Seeks Frog

EdN: Jan 2000